June 4, 2008

Fantasies and Fetishes

Many people who are into fetishes often have no idea of the origins or even a reason as to why a fetish activity appeals to them. They spend a great deal of their lives believing that they are 'weird' or 'unusual' in some way because there is this one thing or series of things that strikes an erotic chord deep within them.

As you grow older you become acutely aware of your 'non-vanilla' desires. You are aware that if you were to reveal your secret desire to your partner or your friends that you would be shunned by them. For those who have had the courage to explore their secret desires - bravo!!! For those who have not yet done so - what are you waiting for? Your dark desires are not going to go away - they are an intrinsic part of your psyche and should be embraced so that you can achieve balance.

Sadly, even in today’s society, the term fetish usually invokes disgust or embarrassment among people. Given that there are hundreds if not thousands of websites and magazines that are dedicated to a particular fetish, you should ask yourself why then do people react this way? With such a large audience for these publications fetishes must be more common than many people think.

If these websites and magazines dedicated to fantasies and such didn’t have an audience they wouldn’t continue. The fact of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with having a particular fetish or fantasy. As long as your fetish doesn’t hurt anyone, or at least anyone that doesn’t want to be hurt, then there is nothing to be embarrassed about. When you embrace what you like and act on it in a healthy way, it can actually be liberating and make your sexual experiences and the experiences of your partner better.

Everyone likes sex a bit differently. These differences include positions, pillow talk, and foreplay, among others. Just like there are things that we all like a bit differently about the actual act of sex, there are differences between what turns us on. Some people like feet, others are particularly attracted to breasts, butts, or perhaps it’s more involved like an S&M or bondage type fetish. These are all very common fetishes and fantasies and as long as you only share them with others that feel the same, then there is no harm done.

A lot of people think having a fetish means they must have a deviant personality. They get embarrassed by it and keep it to themselves rather than sharing it with anyone, even their closet friends or partners. Obviously most don’t want to share their personal fantasies or fetishes with the bridge club, but people should feel comfortable sharing them with an intimate partner.

Exploring different things sexually can be a wonderful thing. Although some people may take their fantasies and fetishes too seriously, having fun with sex is something we should all experience. Everyone should be able to let go, loosen up and have fun with their partners. If this isn’t you then maybe you’re doing it wrong. Sex should be a freeing experience so embrace your fantasies and fetishes if for no other reason for the sake of becoming a better lover.