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Sweet Memories of You

Come to me at daylight's end
When shade and shadow start to blend
The fringe of dreams so softly send
Sweet memories of you

The heat of day now fades away
My fantasies come out to play
My mind now open to what may
Transpire before dawn's dew

Soft the light that shines this night
I sense you near with child's delight
Within my arms all wrong's made right
"Til sunlight is renewed

Are you a dream or fantasy?
A vision no one else can see?
An angel sent here, just for me?
That from my longings grew?

There are some questions best unasked
For Truth may hide in many masks
True is the vintage in the cask
Of memories, of you

"Touch"

I've been thinking lately about intimacy and how we [as humans] achieve it. I know the simple answer is sex. Most people accept that intimacy can occur in other ways, but when it comes to equating intimacy with an activity, sex is the one most people jump to.

I once read something that struck in my mind. 'Sex can sometimes be about as intimate as buying a new pair of shoes.' It stuck in my mind because I love to buy new shoes, but that's an aside. I remember agreeing with the statement in general.

I've found that oftentimes sex is the least intimate thing people do. Sex has become so 'I want my pleasure' oriented, that the intimacy has been lost in the act. Not that the act *has* to be intimate, biology doesn't require intimacy at all. It's only the urge to reproduce.

But while biological urges don't hinge on intimacy, I think most people do crave intimacy. I think that's what all the hoopla is really about with regard to sex--the achievement of intimacy.

I consider "Touch" to be an essential element of intimacy. It doesn't have to be a sexual touch, in fact, often times it is in a casual touch that a deeper intimacy is reached for me. A slow and deliberate attempt of another to reach out and "Touch" me.

The desire to touch is really all about intimacy. It isn't about pleasure [although it certainly is pleasurable], it is about reaching out to "Feel" another. Be intimate.

I'll be honest, I'm not sure whether or not I prefer being touched or doing the touching. I have about as many concerns about touching someone I don't want to touch as I do about being touched by an unfriendly hand. I have just as deep a desire to be touched as I do to touch in more intimate settings. If I had to pick, I'd say I prefer to 'touch' rather than be touched. I think it is because my desire to "Feel" another is quite profound.

The desire to touch a person, feel them, know them somehow on all levels--physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Simply put--be intimate. Share myself with someone through the touch of a hand upon skin. I'm constantly amazed at how happy the mere feel of my hand upon another can make me.

It's like touching the face of God in a way.

Fantasies and Fetishes

Many people who are into fetishes often have no idea of the origins or even a reason as to why a fetish activity appeals to them. They spend a great deal of their lives believing that they are 'weird' or 'unusual' in some way because there is this one thing or series of things that strikes an erotic chord deep within them.

As you grow older you become acutely aware of your 'non-vanilla' desires. You are aware that if you were to reveal your secret desire to your partner or your friends that you would be shunned by them. For those who have had the courage to explore their secret desires - bravo!!! For those who have not yet done so - what are you waiting for? Your dark desires are not going to go away - they are an intrinsic part of your psyche and should be embraced so that you can achieve balance.

Sadly, even in today’s society, the term fetish usually invokes disgust or embarrassment among people. Given that there are hundreds if not thousands of websites and magazines that are dedicated to a particular fetish, you should ask yourself why then do people react this way? With such a large audience for these publications fetishes must be more common than many people think.

If these websites and magazines dedicated to fantasies and such didn’t have an audience they wouldn’t continue. The fact of the matter is that there is nothing wrong with having a particular fetish or fantasy. As long as your fetish doesn’t hurt anyone, or at least anyone that doesn’t want to be hurt, then there is nothing to be embarrassed about. When you embrace what you like and act on it in a healthy way, it can actually be liberating and make your sexual experiences and the experiences of your partner better.

Everyone likes sex a bit differently. These differences include positions, pillow talk, and foreplay, among others. Just like there are things that we all like a bit differently about the actual act of sex, there are differences between what turns us on. Some people like feet, others are particularly attracted to breasts, butts, or perhaps it’s more involved like an S&M or bondage type fetish. These are all very common fetishes and fantasies and as long as you only share them with others that feel the same, then there is no harm done.

A lot of people think having a fetish means they must have a deviant personality. They get embarrassed by it and keep it to themselves rather than sharing it with anyone, even their closet friends or partners. Obviously most don’t want to share their personal fantasies or fetishes with the bridge club, but people should feel comfortable sharing them with an intimate partner.

Exploring different things sexually can be a wonderful thing. Although some people may take their fantasies and fetishes too seriously, having fun with sex is something we should all experience. Everyone should be able to let go, loosen up and have fun with their partners. If this isn’t you then maybe you’re doing it wrong. Sex should be a freeing experience so embrace your fantasies and fetishes if for no other reason for the sake of becoming a better lover.

It's Been a Long Time

I know it has been a long time since I have posted. I just have gotten so busy with other things, I have my 3 Google Groups, Natural Goddesses, SoCal GS Lovers, and PSC/Paddlers of Southern California that I have to manage on a continuous basis. I also spend all my possible free time with my DaddyDom and Holly (my poly family) at Glen Eden. We have been with each other for three years now.

I will do my best to post more here.

Making a Ice Dildo

So it's one of those stinking-ass-hot summer days; the kind where the Sun is
literally cooking every surface it can reach and your body's pathetic attempts
to cool itself include sweating so profusely there is a miasmic cloud of
perspiration following you around. Of course, this is one of those times where
your suffering is not to be borne alone, because your significant other happens
to be over, perhaps visiting from some other, less hellish climate, perhaps
merely deigning to grace with his or her presence while away from the air
conditioned nirvana where they spend the balance of their time.

What to do? Showering in cold water helps for a time, true, but reintroducing your
cooled and calm naked form to the sauna that your house has become is a
punishment unfit for criminals. Swimming shares similar benefits and problems,
and includes the necessity of driving to the pool unless you've got a pool on
site.

Presuming that you and your significant other are intimate with one
another and that he/she is up for the challenge, I present a solution below.
Please note that I am not a doctor, nor licensed sex worker, therapist, or
counselor. I occasionally have clever ideas and like to share them. No lawsuits
please. Thank you.

Make an ice dildo! If you and your lover like using
ice, you can create your own sex toys made of ice just by using unlubricated
condoms, water, and some ingenuity.

Start with the cardboard tube from a
roll of paper towels. With a pair of scissors, cut the tube lengthwise. Roll the
tube to the diameter you'd like the finished dildo to be, and wrap tape around
it to hold it at that size. Take a condom and put it into the top of the
cardboard tube, and then overlap the top half inch or so of the condom around
the edge of the tube as shown:



You can use a lubricated or unlubricated condom. If you use a lubricated condom, avoid spermicidally lubricated ones, because the spermicidal lubricant can get funky when it freezes.

Carefully fill the condom to the top with water. Stand the tube upright in the freezer, and wait a few hours.

You can probably find all kinds of things to do to entertain
yourself while you're waiting.

In a few hours, the water will freeze.
Remove the tube from the freezer. Carefully lift the top edge of the condom from
around the tube and tie it in a knot to keep the water from leaking out as the
ice melts. Then cut the tape holding the tube closed and remove the ice
dildo.

When you're finished, the ice dildo should look like the one shown
below.



If you like, you can take extra steps to make a fancier
dildo by doing things to the cardboard tube before you place the condom in it.
For example, if you take thick cord and wrap it in a spiral on the inside of the
tube, the finished ice dildo will have a spiral ridge in it. If you take a small
sheet of bubble wrap cut to the same width as the inside circumference of the
tube and slide it into the tube before you put the condom in it, the finished
ice dildo will have a dimpled, textured surface.

Putting your toy inside your playmate

Obviously, you can ram your toy into your
playmate with reckless abandon and be assured of a reaction. However, most
people are happier with a slow, lingering advance than an aggressive
penetration by the coldest thing in the house, especially in a couple of
particular places. That being said, try these places and follow the ice with
your lips and tongue and fingers to keep everyone happy:

• Back of the neck
  
• Underside of the breast
  
• Nipples
  
• Inner thighs
  
• Labia
  
• Clitoris
  
• Scrotum
  
• Base of the penis
  
• Glans
  
• Top of the buttocks
  
• Underside of the buttocks
  
• Anus
  
• Lips
  
• Hairline
  
• There are only so many orifices on the human body, and the two which are
  probably springing to your overheated imagination are the vagina and the anus.
  These are always exciting, and can be very pleasurable. If your toy is
  getting melty and drippy, you can try insertion into these places, but have
  lube handy and apply liberally if they're any resistance whatsoever. Cold +
  friction = pain. Pain ? fun.
  
• Consider also the mouth, which can be even more delightful when your
  playmate is blindfolded. Trace the lips slowly, kiss softly to warm,
  then tease again with the ice. Slip the toy gently into their mouth,
  alternate with your tongue. Suck on the ice for a moment, then slide your
  tongue between their lips, keeping your tongue rigid. Slowly move your
  tongue more and more as warmth returns and introduce your tongue and the toy
  at the same time. Don't try to get your playmate to deep-throat the toy
  unless they're really into that. The cold will numb sensation and can mask
  bruising of delicate internal tissues.
  
• Obviously, don't move a toy that's been in the anus to the vagina or the mouth. Butts, generally, are not the cleanest things in the universe.
  
• Remember, you can use a fresh glove, cot or condom with lube on your toy and change it for every orifice to keep things clean and safe.
  

Some considerations

• Remember, always run the ice dildo under cool water before you use it. This
  removes any frost from its surface and starts the outer edge of the ice melting.
  You don't want to use ice internally untill it has started to melt and has a
  thin layer of water on its surface, or the ice may freeze to your skin.
  
• These finished products are not approved by the FDA. They lack any
  handholds, retrieval strings, safety catches, warranties, or security
  features. Be careful not to lose them in the excitement of your creative
  success. Of course, they will melt eventually, but unless you've removed the
  outer, latex mold...you did remove the mold, right? Go back and remove the
  mold, you silly lust-monkey...any melting will be contained within the
  tightly-tied latex mold. Result: a water-filled container stuck somewhere
  embarrassing. So be careful. Please.
  
• Do not keep any ice-based toy inside any living thing for more than a few
  seconds at a time. Then stop for a moment and tease them with the toy or a
  contrasting sensation (think about alternating your hot mouth or sweaty,
  excited hands with this refreshingly cold toy at regular intervals). The
  idea is to cool off your lover, not to numb them or induce frostbite.
  Imagine how upset you and your lover will be if they require amputation of
  their sex organs because you were a little too enthusiastic. If you or your
  lover lose the ability to feel what's going at any time, STOP. If the
  sensation moves from a pleasant cool tingle to a deep, hot burn, STOP. If
  you can't feel the tips of your fingers while manipulating the toy, STOP.
  Use your head and not your crotch to determine safe practices.
  
• Do not reuse frozen toys. It's just kinda grody.
  
• Want your ice cubes or ice dildos to look better? If you boil water and then
  let it cool before freezing it, the ice will be transparent rather than
  cloudy.
  Cloudiness in ice cubes is the result of dissolved air in the water, which is displaced and forms thousands of tiny bubbles when the water freezes. Boiling the water drives out the dissolved air, which produces ice that is transparent when it freezes.

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