BDSM has many elements that are naturally Zen--and in fact, Zen Buddhism even has a few elements of BDSM. Many stories recount a Zen seeker finding their enlightenment when their master suddenly beats them. In many Zen halls today, those sitting in meditation get whacked occasionally with a stick to keep them on track. Both Zen and BDSM demand a complete focus on the present moment, and both can lead to states of profound clarity. Understanding the parallels can enhance the BDSM experience.
Cutting Through To Reality
In some ways, we can compare bottoming to sitting in Zen meditation. Successful meditation and bottoming lead to a similar experience of unfiltered reality. Contrary to popular belief, people sitting in Zen meditation are not striving with all their might towards enlightenment. The goal of meditation is simply to be, allowing oneself to fully feel the reality of the present moment. After sitting long enough in meditation, the flitting thoughts that distract one from reality and the present fade away, and you may start to experience reality itself.
Bottoming can take one along a similar path. You make a conscious decision to submit to the top. You begin with distracted thoughts, including fear, uncertainty, and excitement. As the scene begins, most of us have fleeting thoughts that are not relevant--what do we look like? Did we remember to feed the cat? What are we doing later? As sensation starts, however, we ease into the scene completely. The insistence of the whip stroke or clamp pressure drains away irrelevant thoughts and leaves us with the clear and simple pain. We are here now with our body, its sensations, and the reactions of our mind. Past and future fade away as we deal with the moment at hand.
Successful meditation or bottoming can also lead to feelings of connection and oneness with the world. Zen encourages one to free oneself of the concept of the mind and/or self as a separate entity. You can move towards this realization of no-mind by stilling all distractions and thoughts that move you outside of yourself, so that all that is left is you. If you had a separate mind or ego-self, once you stilled all non-relevant thoughts, this mind/self would appear. But the fact that it does not, can break through your preconceptions and help you realize that you are not a separate mind or self; that in fact you are part of the continuum of reality.
In bottoming, this can occur when you surrender completely to the pain and sensation. Most of us experience some form of internal resistance when we begin a bottoming scene. We might be anxious, and it may take a while to settle into the rhythm of the strokes or the sensation of the pain. But if we consciously make ourselves surrender, we move into a state where we become one with the pain. We give up the preferences and attachments that define our selves and egos--for instance, our attachment to non-pain, or our personal preferences as opposed to what the top demands. We begin to feel the connection with the top, the breaking down of ego boundaries between the giver and receiver of pain.
When this surrender is complete, the ego-mind-self begins to disintegrate and our consciousness expands into the reality around us. Boundaries disappear and we can clearly see that we are a part of the universe--the fabled "oneness in being." In Zen, such a breakthrough is called a "kensho." Deep bottoming can lead one to a kensho state.
The Zen Warrior
The top, on the other hand, can be more accurately compared to the samurai or warrior who acts according to Zen values. Good tops share many similarities with the legendary samurai. A top should be honorable, dependable, and skilled in the arts which he or she practices. But more than that, a successful top works completely in the present moment, striving to create the best scene possible.
In a scene, the top must banish all distractions. A top focuses on the task at hand, letting the energy flow through him or her in a natural way, not looking outside the present but instead completely understanding the moment that is occurring. This includes great respect and understanding for the bottom. The successful top sees and reacts to the Buddha nature of the bottom and can sense the connection that links top, bottom, and universe. While the forms are very different, a successful scene uses an energy flow that can be likened to that of a battle between two honorable warriors. Rage, hate, and attachment are banished and put aside and replaced with respect.
A good top is mindful in his or her topping. Like the samurai, a good top constantly strives to better him or herself, practicing the arts and caring for the tools of the craft. You can sense it in the way a top handles his favorite flogger or lovingly caresses a well-worn pair of leather cuffs. The best tops are always learning, always pushing themselves to new things. And good tops are not simply experts with toys and techniques--they have mastered the energy flow that allows them to take complete control and direct a scene in a precise manner.
Enlightened Playfulness
Being a good top naturally fits into the same principles of being a Zen warrior, just as true bottoming can lead one to the same insights and experience of reality that Zen practice imparts. And lastly but not least, Zen encourages the same open-mindedness and playfulness that good BDSM takes into account. Zen masters of the ages have been known for their light-heartedness and playful nature. Zen itself came into being partly to counteract the heavy-handed seriousness and over-ritualization that was occurring in many popular sects of Buddhism. This can be a lesson for us today in our BDSM play as well-- meaningful scenes can still be playful and fun.
